I wonder why I don’t just sit down and start.

Whatever I have on the list. I am really good at planning. I have a really good skill or gift ( ? ) to see through things quickly and create great order within the chaos. 

And I do it happily. I find joy in it. 

It feels like playing with puzzles. I love puzzles. When it is all sorted out and put together, I feel satisfaction. Easiness. Though with a puzzle it is something achieved, in most cases, with plans, getting them done is is mainly step 0. Or step 1… definitely not the last step, but somewhere in the beginning of the process. 

After all, what is the point of planning if I don’t follow even a part of it? If I don’t even look at it? How come that is all I do about my goals? Planning, planning and planning…

It feels like I am doing something, and it gives a false sensation that I am moving ahead. Oh yeah. 

Like the training plans for running → it’s all good to have it on paper if I don’t get my body up from the couch, put on the shoes, and do the running. The activity the whole training plan is for. 

It is not different from the plans for my business, travels, etc.. 

When it is done effectively, it gives the movement, it fuels. And actions are taken. 

Why do I feel the job is done when the plan is done? 

What is stopping me from following the plan? 

After all, it is my plan. Noone told me to do it that way. I still don’t want to follow it. I still want to go ad hoc, my way. But… the plan is also my way!! I created it! Is it about laziness? No.. 

It is about starting. 

It is about the first couple minutes of each activity. It is about rewiring my brain as I do something differently. Creating the habit of working for my own success and not for someone else’s. 

I was always good at achieving goals and KPIs for others… It might have been my goal and KPI – but in reality, it was given to me (in the hierarchy down from the top management…). Just like plans. 

I quit corporate because I wanted my goals, my metrics, and my plans. 

Yet, I am wired to do someone else’s. This is something to pay attention to. 

To focus on why I decided to do what I do, why I created the plan. Simply put – focus on my why – the goals, the dreams that I set for myself. 

It’s a practice. It requires time and patience, it requires discipline. It’s not laziness. It’s a practice. A new habit. To do for myself what I used to do so well for others. 

Set goals, metrics, plans, and go for them. In the corporate, the yearly performance evaluation and bonus were the results if I fulfilled what was set. In this case, my dreams coming true will be the result. This is what I will focus on. This is what I focus on. I create the plans to reach my goals and fulfill my dreams. 

Whenever I catch myself procrastinating and with resistance, this is what I will tell myself. “I create the plans to reach my goals, to fulfill my dreams. They are my plans, my goals, my metrics. I deserve and I do.”